My fundamental issue has always been that I was raised by physically and emotionally abusive parents in near-cult-like isolation. That compromised my social skills, ability to feel relaxed or safe in normal human circumstances, and baseline neurochemistry in regards to contentment, happiness, and pleasure.
I have spent most of my life bouncing around between one addiction or compulsive destructive behavior and another, trying to find ways to temporarily fill the void I felt by being unable to see myself as a good person, feel loved, enjoy normal social activities without anxiety and self-loathing, or even keep my neurochemistry at a high enough level to avoid feeling suicidally depressed for much more than half of the time. Being able to buy kratom changed my life.
